IM Etiquette

I'm noticing a total lack of etiquette on the part of some IM users. While I certainly wouldn't hold someone's 80 year old grandmother to the rules of Netiquette, anyone who has used the internet for any length of time should be able to follow a few simple rules to make everyone else's life easier.

1) Your IM Client/Protocol has a status message indicator. USE IT. If you are not at the computer, set your status as Away or Invisible, or put the client offline. It's annoying to type at people, and they're just not there. This applies to VoIP clients like Skype as well. (and it's even more important there, because if people attempt to call you over VoIP and you're not there, it's a waste of bandwidth).

2) Don't type in ALL CAPS. Just like in email, all caps is considered yelling, and it's rude. (You can type one word or a short phrase in all caps to indicate emphasis however. This isn't yelling).

3) Abbreviations are okay. Don't be annoyed, though, if people don't know those abbreviations. Never hesitate to ask what an abbreviation means if you've never seen it before.

4) Learn to read emoticons. There's a huge difference between "You suck!" and "You suck! :p" The first is probably someone being rude. The second is someone joking around. Most IM programs convert common emoticons into graphical smilies, and if your program does this, learn what those smilies mean. (for example, :p will show up as a smiley sticking out its tongue on most clients.")

5) If you can't talk to several people at once without long delays, *don't do it!*. If you can only handle one conversation at a time, that's okay. If anyone else IM's you, just tell them you're talking to someone else and you'll get back to them.

6) If you're busy, but at the computer, set your status message to indicate that. That way, if it's important, people will know you're there, but they won't bother you with trivialities. (And if they do, you can ignore them. Your status message speaks for itself.)

7) IM has varying weights of importance to different people. Some people, like myself, use IM a lot, and it's just as relevant as a phone call. (In some ways, more so, since I can log IM communications.) If you really don't consider IM important, then you probably shouldn't use it to talk to people who think it is. You are just going to annoy them.

8) By the same token, don't be annoyed by the fact that younger people would rather IM than email or use the phone. IM is just more convenient. Sorry baby boomers (and those older) who want voice, but there are many people under 40, and especially those under 25, who simply WON'T use the phone unless they absolutely have to. The phone takes 100% concentration, but I can IM and work on projects at the same time. That's not being rude. That's just efficient time management. (For many under 25 or so, getting them to even use Email is like pulling teeth. IM is pretty much the primary communication medium of Gen-Y. Gen-X's like myself still consider email the primary communication medium.)

9) If you are on the phone (because you have to be, or because you're one of those rare throw-backs who prefer voice over IM) set your status message to BRB (Be Right Back) or AFK (Away From Keyboard) or BBIAB (Be Back In a Bit). This is true even if you are sitting at your PC using a softphone. There's nothing more annoying than trying to talk to someone on IM while they're actually have a phone conversation, because that phone conversation takes 90% of their attention, and they don't respond in a timely manner to IM's (IM communication doesn't have to be instant, but I shouldn't have to wait 5 minutes to get one word answers from somebody whose status message says they are online.)

10) DON'T FLOOD! You don't need to type out the entire contents of your head in one line! If you have to say something that's long, type it in short sentences and end each sentence in an ellipsis like this ... Then hit return/enter. Computer users are used to the fact that ellipses mean more is coming (since well formed menus in graphic user interfaces use an ellipsis to indicate that if you pick this menu item, a dialog box will open.)

11) It's pretty much rude to think that someone should talk on the phone when IM is available simply because you prefer voice. What you are requesting is that they devote all of their attention to you. It's not all about you. :P

12) That being said, for those that are IM addicts (like me), do pick up the phone from time to time. It's not all about us either. But you don't have to do it when it's inconvenient for you. You can certainly talk to your Aunt Ethel on the phone because she hates IM, but do it when you have time to spare, not whenever she wants. (This isn't so much an IM etiquette rule as it is a rule for life. I'm convinced many people bow over too easily to minimize other's disappointment or to prevent someone from being angry at them. Sorry, I'm not that way. If I'm too busy to talk on the phone, then I'm too busy. Like it or lump it. What you think of me is none of my business.)


(This whole post is in response to someone who can't be bothered with status messages. For God sakes, how hard is it to use a status indicator. If you can't be bothered, then shut down the damn program. I understand that people have busy lives and all, but it takes a few SECONDS to change your status. Not minutes, not hours, SECONDS! You wouldn't drive a car if you didn't know how. Don't IM if you don't know how. Mollyrant over.)